Could not help it.
Just too many good things from Groucho's mouth
to fit in one post.
So here's some more.
But not all.
Man does not control his own fate.
The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants
to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
My favourite poem is the one that starts
'Thirty days hath September' because it
actually tells you something.
Groucho Marx
My mother loved children - she would have given
anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind
to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father.
He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.
If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
