More Groucho

Could not help it.
Just too many good things from Groucho's mouth
to fit in one post.
So here's some more.
But not all.


Man does not control his own fate.
The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants
to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx

My favourite poem is the one that starts
'Thirty days hath September' because it
actually tells you something.
Groucho Marx

My mother loved children - she would have given
anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
Groucho Marx

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind
to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx

Room service? Send up a larger room.
Groucho Marx

She got her looks from her father.
He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.
If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx

Wisdom Quotes

There are loads of lame quotes out there on the subject of wisdom,
a rather lame subject itself quite frankly, but people like to think
they are up on things if they have a line or two with which to
pepper their tavern talk.
So here's some of the best of the worst of wisdom quotes.
Enjoy or despair at the ponderous profundities.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he
bites off more than he can chew.
Herb Caen

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.
Francis Bacon

All this worldly wisdom was once the unamiable
heresy of some wise man.
Henry David Thoreau

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection,
which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest;
and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Confucius

Cleverness is not wisdom.
Euripides

Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the
world calls wisdom.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven
which is inspired by the smell of carrion?
Friedrich Nietzsche

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes
every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
Elbert Hubbard

He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in the
direction of wisdom.
James Huneker

He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study
may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.
Mary Wilson

Little Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jefferson

In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou
hast attained it - thou art a fool.
Lord Chesterfield

It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
Henry David Thoreau

It is astonishing with how little wisdom mankind can
be governed, when that little wisdom is its own.
William Ralph Inge

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing
if the audience is deaf.
Walter Lippmann

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere,
wide awake, on tiptoe.
Josh Billings

Memory is the mother of all wisdom.
Aeschylus

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another.
Juvenal

Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time.
Theodore Roosevelt